Zach abu-el douche

well, i'm gonna sound like an asshole writing this but this is what  I think of Zach. He thinks he knows me real well but doesn't. This is one of the reasons why I don't have any best friends. Anyways Zach is a complete dick to me and I really don't know why I am his friend. He'll be talking shit to my face then I would say something hella fucked up that it would make him shut up. He thinks there's anger bottled in me but that's diminished. I don't know how the fuck he comes up with this but it really pisses me off. But you don't want to see me angry because if you're a person that never gets angry and then one day you get angry it's expressed to the full extent because i don't use that emotion that much. I did get angry alot in 8th grade because i was picked on and due to that I started to fucking hear voices. I am picked on probably everyday. I learned to laugh as a coping mechanism. Zach doesn't know me if he thinks I get angry over little shit like oh you called me a douchebag. But what type of friend actually talks shit about a so called friend. I'm wondering if zach is using me as a fucking laughing tool. I don't know the asshole that well and yet i'm his friend. I know it weird to say that I don't know him that well but it''s true. He doesn't even know my way of thinking yet. I adjust my self somewhat but everyone seems to see me as this happy kid that they can make fun of. well they can go fuck themselves for all I care. I will always be an outcast to society because of some reason. I don't follow this popularity shit. Like zach tries to. He didnn't want to use the school phone because he said he didn't want to look like a nerd. Who fucking gives a fuck. If you care about people judging you you must have low health esteem. They're just assholes for judging you. Then zach would judge people who walk by a say the look like a rapist. I'm starting to think if zach is really my friend. He is one of the guys that pisses me off the most. He might write some gay ass comment saying oh i only judge people cause it's funny or this is a load of shit or he'll write something else fucked up in class. No one understands me besides my dad and maybe my brother. Zach you won't take this seriously if you read this so you're probably gonna think i'm joking and tell evryone about this blog. I have news for you i'm fed up with your shit and judging me. You make fun of me cause i like the simpsons well fuck you. Something about you though makes you my friend and I don't even fucking know. I'll find out some day. I also apologize for writing this but this is how i fell about you and need to tell about part of my life. Don't make some gay ass shit up writing about how you feel about me unless you mean it. I almost fucking cried when I wrote.